


Annissa at Heart

by Margeauxvangogh



Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Time, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-10-08
Updated: 2003-10-08
Packaged: 2017-11-01 08:33:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/354433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Margeauxvangogh/pseuds/Margeauxvangogh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate begining for Clark and Lex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Annissa at Heart

## Annissa at Heart

by Margeaux Van Gogh

[]()

* * *

* * *

Author's Note: I would like to thank my beta Henry Jones Jr. for the great advice needed to get this fic ready and providing it with a title. And a thank you to my Muse Brian, for without him this would never have been written. And to Wicked who encouraged me over the rough spots and revisions.

* * *

'So this was college, it didn't look too bad so far.' Clark stood in the quad while he looked about at the students walking past on their way to classes or relaxing in the shade of the trees surrounding the geometrically patterned annex in the middle of campus. There was an orientation for high school seniors and it looked very enlightening. They provide a tour; you're shown how to apply to the college and given information on the types of programs available at MetU. Clark thought he may be interested in what they had to offer, and would remember to sign up when the program was next available. His father still wanted him to check out Kansas State but he was looking over all his possible choices. He was wondering about trying to find someplace to eat for the lunch break in the schedule when he saw what he hoped was the cafeteria. He began to walk in that direction when he felt a bump. 

"Oh sorry." He looked at the person he ran into. "I'm so sorry miss." 

"That's alright, I don't think I'm hurt," she said as she started to stand. " _Ouch_." The tall young lady reached down to rub at her ankle. 

"Do you need some help? Let's go sit on this bench." 

Clark led her to one tables in the outside seating area. He noticed she limped a bit. "I'm so sorry--" he started to say, but she shook her head not accepting the apology. 

"It's alright, I'm just a little clumsy. It's why I stopped wearing heels." 

"No it's my fault, too busy thinking with my stomach." 

When he realized what he said, he felt his flame in embarrassment. 'Man what a stupid thing to say.' He looked up when he heard laughter, to see the woman's smiling face. She was very beautiful. Her smile wasn't the only lovely thing about her. She had elegant features and very clear complexion. Her skin looked smooth and silky and he just wanted to touch her face to feel it flow beneath his fingertips. Her lips were soft and inviting, he wondered what they would taste like if he leaned over to kiss her. 

"Hello. You okay?" 

"Sorry." Now she would think he was an idiot for staring at her. 

"That's fine, its not everyday a nice looking man decides I'm good enough to stare at." 

"Why wouldn't they stare? You're hot... I mean... uh... very pretty." 

"Well, if you feel that way...How about taking me to lunch?" 

"I'd.. uh..be happy to Miss?" 

"Annissa. You are?" 

"Clark. Clark Kent." 

"It's very nice to meet you Clark." 

* * *

As Annissa lay in the darkness waiting for sleep, she thought about the nice young man who bumped into her that morning. He seemed very sorry and offered to buy her lunch. Clark was participating in a summer internship at the Daily Planet. He often helped at the Torch, his school paper with a friend. He wasn't sure if this was the career he was interested in, so thought that the summer was the best time to learn. Apparently he was visiting the campus with and interest to attend next fall. He didn't know if MetU had what he was looking for in a school. 'My father wants me to go to Kansas State but was willing compromise if I visited both campuses. After today though, I may choose Metropolis after all,' he had said with a smile. 

Annissa had always thought it was foolish when people said you know you will love someone from a first meeting. That is until she met Clark that afternoon. She didn't know how to describe it other than a feeling, a small ping between her heart and her stomach, when he shared that first smile with her. After lunch she had to go to a class, but he had asked to see her again the next day, so they agree to meet at the same time. Now as she lay in her bed with the image of his smile in her thoughts, she felt that ping again. 

* * *

_Clark watches Annissa_

Sometimes he just watched her, the way she smiled, or her laugh. When she thought he wasn't looking, at how sad her eyes became looking out at the distance. He wondered what put that sadness there and what he could do to relieve it. Annissa came to the university to study art. He knew she was talented, often when he came to meet her he caught her drawing figures in a note pad or doodling in the corner of her textbooks. He just watched until she looked up and realized he was there and then she'd smile. 

"How would you like to see the new impressionists showing at the Newburg gallery?" 

"Class assignment?" 

"We have to see several different shows over the semester and write a summary of the visit and the feeling we get from the artist work." 

"What if you don't like the person?" 

"That's okay, its art. You don't necessarily like it to understand or appreciate it." 

"Well in that case, I would be delighted to accompany you Ms. Michaels, if only to belittle the technique of the artists." 

"My...I had to fall for a critic." 

* * *

It had been two weeks since he met Annissa. She was attending classes at the university for the summer. She didn't seem to mind that he was younger. It was nice to have someone to talk to that didn't see him as the nice but somewhat goofy Kent boy. He felt comfortable with Annissa, they could talk about anything and at the same time he felt something inside of him that wanted to be closer to her. His dreams were filled with passionate kisses and moistened skin that was hot to the touch. He could here her cries and the raspy sound of her hands across his back as he entered her body. He often awoke soaked in sweat and his boxers glued to his skin. It had happened so often he had taken to washing his own sheets. He had thoughts and feeling about other girls, Chloe and Lana, but neither of them had caused him to feel this way. 

* * *

Annissa was sitting in the grass, on the commons beneath one of the many trees, when a young lady approached her. 

"Hey, Nissa." 

She looked up to see the person calling her name. "Hi, Lo. What's up?" 

"Just waiting for my next class. So where's that handsome guy of yours, huh?" 

"He went to see a friend of his today, but he said he'd come by to see me for lunch." She said this with an impish grin. 

"Some of us actually eat a meal at lunchtime you know." 

"We do eat, Lo. Get your mind out of the gutter." 

"You need to step up this relationship Nissa. Come on a cutie like that, you have to keep him interested, so he comes back for more. You don't want any of these pea brained bimbettes stealing him away." 

"He isn't just good looks, you know. Clark has more depth than some of the guys around here. He may be younger but he has a maturity beyond his years." 

"Maturity doesn't mean dead, remember that." 

"We're just taking our time that's all. I want to enjoy it, never really had a boyfriend before." 

"Why not? You're pretty Nissa, I'm quite sure someone's asked you out before." 

"Yeah, but it never really worked out. I want to have as much as I can with Clark. There's something special about him." She sighed a bit wistfully. 

"Speaking of special someone's, I think I see your guy coming. Class should be starting soon, I'll leave you two love birds _alone_." Her voice was low pitched emphasizing the word alone, which was followed with waggling eyebrows. 

"You're _so_ amusing Lo." 

Lois gave a short laugh as she left Annissa underneath the elms to wait for Clark. 

* * *

Clark was feeling a bit guilty as he walked toward the multiplex theatre in the mall. He'd lied to his parents again today. He tried to call at least every other day. He was sure they missed him, as he did them, it was different and somewhat frightening being away from home, but still he enjoyed the new found freedom. He knew they wouldn't approve of his seeing an older girl, so when they asked how he was spending his time when he wasn't at the Planet. He told them he was going to the movies or hanging out with Chloe, who worked in a separate department at the newspaper. He wasn't lying exactly, he did see Chloe for lunch and now he was meeting Annissa to a watch a new movie she wanted to see. He wanted to spend as much time with her as he possibly could without making his parents suspicious or being obviously untruthful. 

Clark walked to the snack bar while Annissa was in the restroom. He ordered a large popcorn and a couple of cokes for them. Annissa was really excited about this new film; it was supposed to be very artistic, but it was a foreign film and he wasn't sure what he felt about that. Movies were meant to be exciting and action filled. Would he even be able to understand it? 'I guess I should be grateful it's subtitled,' Clark thought. In the last few weeks Annissa had exposed him to several different types of things. She always wanted to go to exhibits, concerts or plays by students on campus. He didn't think he would have liked most of them, but found he had a wonderful time. He often wondered if it were the activities he enjoyed or the time they gave him to spend with her. Before he could truthfully answer himself, his thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice. 

"Hi, Clark." 

"Lana... Oh... uh...How are you?" Clark said, disconcerted with seeing the girl he had a crush on for most of high school. 

"Great." Looking somewhat hopeful, Lana asked, "So what are you doing in Metropolis?" 

"Just here to see a movie with a friend." 

"That's $10.75," a voice said, catching Clark's attention. 

"Oh, sorry. Thanks." Clark handed the money to the counter person and was handed his order. "It was nice seeing you Lana. Gotta go." 

"Yeah, Clark. See ya." Clark hurried away from Lana. She watched him, wondering why he ran off so fast. 

"Hi. Are we ready?" Clark turned around and smiled at Annissa. 

"Yes, we are. So what's this movie about anyway?" he asked as he walked her toward the theatre. 

"Well..." 

'Who is she?' Lana thought to herself as she watched Clark lead Annissa away. 

* * *

_Enter Annissa_

Annissa sighed once again as she looked at herself in the mirror. She was somewhat disappointed with her reflection. 'I have a fat ass. How can Clark be interested in me?' There was nothing wrong with the overall appearance that was reflected in the mirror. Annissa was a beautiful woman; provided that this particular pantsuit didn't flatter her derriere well wasn't the major problem. Once again she asked herself what the hell she thought she was doing. 'You know he's going to find you. Do you think a simple name change will hold him off for long?' 

"Yes, dear old dad," sighed Annissa aka Lex Luthor, as he pulled off the dressy pantsuit. 

It was just an out of state venture that his father wanted to purchase. He was to make the initial meetings and then his father would come in to finalize the deal. Only he never really arrived at his destination. He spent the first few weeks in various places across the US. Staying only temporarily, he kept moving, until he could set himself up with his new identity. Now it has been six months since he's last seen his father. 

Sure it was simple to leave just to defy his father, but this was something he wanted for himself for a long time and he knew the old man would disapprove of. He could hear his father now, 'No son of mine would dress in women's clothes. It's weak, but you've always been weak, haven't you boy.' He knew to return and stay in Metropolis was foolhardy at best, but he'd hope it would buy him some time and so far his risk seems to have paid off. His father would just assume he would go to Gotham, maybe Europe, not hiding in plain sight. He was only using money he had set aside in preparation for this plan and living modestly, as well as was staying away from places he'd usually go. Annissa Michaels was just an average student, well as average as you could be while cross-dressing. It was almost completely ignored by most people. College was for experimentation and doing your own thing away from parental structure and the campus was large enough that an individual was lost in the crowd. Besides, it was only a matter of time until he was found and he was determined to enjoy it to its fullest. 

And Clark was definitely enjoyment, to the last drop as it were. Who would have thought that the jaded Luthor boy could have such a wholesome relationship? So far they have done nothing but kiss and hold hands and he felt no need to have it go further. Clark was so shy about how he treated Annissa, he could see the young man was ardent in his feelings, but he denied himself each time. Maybe he should offer to help him relieve the pressure on their next date. 'Date? Have I ever dated before?' No was the only answer to that question. Use and been used for sex was the only experience Lex had with relationships. It was almost nice to be appreciated for nothing but himself, not his money or status. He liked going to movies or museums, long walks and just talking to someone about nothing and everything. He couldn't remember a more pleasant moment since his mother died. He could just be happy. 

'Damn,' Lex thought, 'I'm jealous of Annissa.' 

* * *

_A Time for Goodbyes_

The summer session had ended and Annissa would not be staying for the fall. Her father had needed her to return home. She told him she hadn't wanted to go, but her father had only given her the summer to do what she wanted, if she didn't go back, she would not be allowed to finish school. Clark thought that maybe she could apply for a scholarship or maybe work, but as she said it was just easier this way. Clark could understand somewhat, there were things he wanted but his parents wouldn't allow. In his case it could be dangerous and in the end he knew they were only looking out for him. Just like Annissa's father was looking out for her. Annissa looked at him strangely when he told her that, but she only nodded her head and just said, 'Yes, Clark. You're right.' But she did not look very happy about it. 

Their last weekend together was something Clark would never forget. Annissa planned a very special outing for them; she asked that he allow her to pay for everything. He objected at first, but gave in after she told him she had saved up for this and wanted to do something extra special that they would always remember. After dinner, they walked together through the small wooded park near the campus. They had done this before, but it was enjoyed by them both and was a quiet time they could spend together. 

"Clark, I've brought you out here for a reason. I wanted to ask a favor of you." 

"Whatever you want..." 

"No, Clark. I need you listen to me first before you agree. " At his nod she continued. "I know we didn't have as much time as I would have liked to be together, but I wanted you to know, that these last weeks have been some of the best moments I've have ever had and I will cherish them for years to come. I know this sounds a bit final but that can't be helped because I know there is a real possibility that we won't see each other again. I also know that there is no way we will be able to stay in touch, there are extenuating circumstances." 

Clark took Annissa's hand in his and kissed the palm. He knew she hated to be too emotional so he didn't look directly at her, but he smelled the saline from the tears she tried so hard not to shed. 

"Please don't ask me to explain why, Clark. I only want to spend our last weekend together as if nothing will ever change, although I know it will, but for now I would like to pretend." 

"What do you want me to do for you, Annissa?" Clark asked softly. 

"There's something I would like to show you." 

Clark knew that Annissa did not live in the dormitory at the University, but this was the first time he had ever been to her apartment. As much as he cared for her, it would have been inappropriate to be alone with her there. But now that their time was running out, he understood her desire for them to be closer because he needed it as well. Of all the ways he had imaged being intimate with her, it paled in comparison. Although her skin was silken to the touch, her muscles were much firmer than he had assumed. They also did not go as far as he thought. 

She did not allowed him to touch her below the waist; she wanted to do something special for him this last time together. When she undid the button on his pants, he had to breathe deeply to control himself and at the first touch of her lips to his cock was an indescribable feeling. He loved the heat of her mouth, the feel of her tongue, as she tasted bit pre-cum at his tip. He moaned at the slow torture as she moved her hand done to his testicles in a soft caress. He didn't want her to stop and was pleasantly surprised when her hand returned not there but instead to circle the soft tissue of his anus. He felt so good and even better when she placed her finger inside of him; it was slick and smooth. 'How did she do that?' he thought. 

But he didn't have time for more as this fiery feeling made its way up his spine. He placed his hands on her shoulders as he felt the movement across his body, from his cock to the base of his brain, and all he could do was moan out her name. His body felt as if he had run until he collapsed. His muscled twitching and achy. The skin of his cock was sensitized as he felt the muscles of her throat release him as she swallowed the last his come. He could only lie there as she redressed him and then lay at his side. 

"Annissa. Why do you have to leave?" 

"I don't want to. It's just the way it has to be." 

So he held her close until he had to say goodbye. 

* * *

_A Scene from a bridge_

Lex was driving to his doom. His father had found him, just as he knew would happen. But the old man had kept it together much better than he'd thought. He sneered at the mere fact that Lex had taken classes in art. Just stated that he had told him before to give that up, it was useless to business and he didn't have time to indulge Lex in those asinine pursuits. And as for Annissa..... 

"Lex, I don't have a daughter, I have a son. But if you really wish it, what kind of father would I be to deny my own child?" 

At these words he reached into a drawer of his desk for a pair of scissors. "I'll take care of it for you, no problem. Then I could marry you to Bruce Wayne. A merger between our two companies would be mutually beneficial. Then the takeover of his conglomerate would be even easier." 

Then his father proceeded to laugh at him or the look of fear on his face. This was why he was on the road to Smallville, his punishment, for being who he truly wanted to be. This punishment from his father was not his main concern -- it was Clark. Of all the places his father could send him, why there? If he didn't know better, he would say his father was doing this to reinforce his failure. But from all of their conversations, his father never brought up his relationship with Clark. It could be assumed he didn't know about it, but Lex wasn't holding his breath. Knowing Lionel, this was another little object lesson directed at Lex, that love was fickle. He knew the possibility was there for Clark's hatred. The first real love you have ever know, turns out to be a guy. He wanted Clark to just remember what they had and now his father wanted to destroy the one joy that came from this summer, to further illustrate the hold he had on his son's life. He didn't think he could handle a rejection from Clark just now and Lionel knew exactly that. 

* * *

Clark stood on the bridge looking over the water. It had now been a total of three weeks and he was trying not to think about how much he missed Annissa. He kept the only picture he had of them in a frame at the loft, hidden between some of his books. He took it out sometimes to look at her face and wonder where she was and what she doing. His parents had tried to talk to him about what was wrong but he just told them that it was nothing. They didn't know about Annissa and he couldn't share it with them. They still thought he had a crush on Lana and he did nothing to dissuade them of it. It was better this way, he didn't want to explain why he lied about where he had gone during the summer or have to tell them what he shared with his first girlfriend. This way they were his own memories, both his and Annissa's for the rest of their lives. Clark was so lost in thought that he didn't hear the roar of the car engine until it was too late. 

* * *

He could feel the lips on his forcing him to breathe. He wanted to turn away, but the hands held him strong. He could taste the brackishness of the unfiltered water mixed with bile as it surged up his throat to spew from his mouth. He coughed as his lungs began remembering how to breathe in the air around him. 

"Hey, are you alright?" A voice spoke to him. 

He opened his eyes because he couldn't get his vocal cords to work just yet. When he could focus clearly the sight that beheld him filled him with joy and doom. He knew Smallville was small but he didn't expect to run into the object of his desire so soon. Would Clark recognize him as Annissa? He didn't know if he was ready to know. Either Clark would hate Lex for deceiving him or despite his anger forgive Lex and love him still. 

* * *

_Friendship_

Clark watched his new friend Lex as he spoke on the phone. Even though he had a business to run, Lex went out of his way to help Clark. He even understood when Clark had to return the truck he had been given as the reward for saving his life. He just said, 'he understood about troublesome fathers.' When he saw Lex like this, he knew he looked at a man in control of his surroundings. Always poised and confident in the role he was given to play. How did he know it was a role? Lex told him it was. He played the prince in his castle to his father's kingship, his father as a malevolent ruler crushing the world in his fist. His father's dreams were not his own, but he played the part quite well, because it was expected. 

Clark was surprised at how fast they had become friends. He felt comfortable with Lex, as he hadn't with anyone else, not since Annissa. He found himself telling Lex things he didn't even tell Pete and Chloe. 

One night when Lex came to visit him at the loft, he found himself telling Lex about his summer. How much Annissa had meant to him and how heartbroken he was at her leaving. Lex replied that first loves were always the strongest and most painful. He asked Lex if he had ever been in love. 

"Only once," he said, "and I'd give anything to have it back, but unfortunately it was never meant to be for us." 

"Why?" 

"Luthors don't love." 

"Lex, that's..." 

"My father says love is a weakness and until otherwise his word is law." 

"Maybe when you come into your own, you can find her again." Clark said looking away. So he didn't see Lex's gaze linger on him when he replied, "No, he deserves better." 

"What was that, Lex?" Clark turned back to his friend. 

"We just weren't right for each other." _I just wasn_ ' _t_ _right for the person_ , was obviously left unspoken. 

Clark was shaken from his musings by Lex calling his name. 

* * *

Clark was confused, Lex was his friend and he shouldn't be having these feelings. He knew that Lex was just being friendly, going out of his way to help whenever he could. He hoped Lex didn't realize the amount of time Clark spent touching him, under the guise of a friendly greeting or a short hug when the conversation became a bit emotional. He didn't want Lex to know how guilty he felt because Clark knew he was taking advantage. He wasn't sure if Lex was interested in him in a sexual or romantic way and tried to keep these new thoughts to himself. He sometimes thought the other man was flirting with him on occasion, and if Clark returned a look or a smile he would then ask him if there was anyone he was interested in school or he would act like nothing had happened. 

He had been trying to accept the thought that he was possibly bisexual. It was the only way to explain how he now had feelings for Lex and the way he still loved Annissa. He didn't think a person could love two people at once before meeting Lex and now he knew it was possible. He had hoped of one day seeing Annissa again. Maybe she would return to Metropolis to live when she finished school. She had said she enjoyed the city and the people very much and he had held on to this dream of someday. But now in the face of these new feeling for Lex, could he take the chance? He didn't know if he had a future with Annissa but could he hope for a chance with Lex as well? 

Lex sat behind the wheel of his car and stared out the windshield. He watched as Clark walked across from the house to the barn. This wasn't a planned visit, but the urge to stop couldn't be denied. He should be satisfied with the situation. He was regarded as a friend; it would have to be enough. He was quite sure Clark was headed to the loft where he went when he wanted time alone. He told Lex he often went there to think, or look at the stars and sometimes to remember. Which for Lex was the ultimate irony and anguish. He sat there for hours at a time to recall moments with one woman, who had come to mean everything. 

All Lex had left now were memories, his own which were only remembered long into the night when he lay in bed alone. He was unable to let Clark see that he knew what Clark didn't tell him. Little details that he kept tucked away just for himself to remember their time together. Clark couldn't know that he had them within his heart as well. He didn't know Lex had the answers to the questions he'd been pondering. Why did she have to leave? Where was she now? He couldn't be allowed to be with her again, although Lex had to fight that part of himself that wanted to be with Clark. Lex could only be the friend now and not the lover. He could listen to Clark's deep pain and offer shallow comfort, hear his despair in missing her love, her sex, and her passion. He couldn't rediscover that passion with Lex. There were too many barriers between them. His father, Clark's father, his age, Lex's money. Clark loved her, not Lex. 

"Hey, Lex. Are you going to stand out there all night?" 

Lex was just the friend. For now, it's all he could ever be. 

Lex walked to the barn and up the stairs into the loft. 

* * *

_Comparative Feelings_

The last class of the day was finally done. Clark had done his homework during Mrs. Laskers dull lecture on Shakespeare in his English Lit. class. If he started now, he could go by and see Lex before he went home. He had chores to do, but they weren't many and he would be finished well before supper. He turned to start walking home when a voice called out to him. 

"Hey, stranger. No time for your friends?" It was Chloe. 

"I was just on my way home." 

"Don't you have some time? We haven't seen much of you since school started. I can't even say I know how your summer went. Other than a few lunches, we didn't see much of each other. Although according to Lana it must have been very hot." This last statement had a bit of edge to it. 

"Nothing unusual." 

"That's your answer? I would have thought you would want to defend your version of events." 

"Of what?" 

"Lana said she ran into you in Metropolis, said she saw you being awfully cozy with someone." 

"Chloe, I took a friend to the movies is all. Other than the Planet, it was probably the most excitement I had all summer." 

"I forgot you're moving in different circles these days, hobnobbing with billionaires." 

"Lex is a friend of mine. He's a nice guy. And when have you and Lana gotten all chummy." 

"Clark, every other word out of your mouth these days is what happens when you go to see Lex. Pete and I don't see you very much anymore unless you're helping out with the Torch. I've been spending a lot of time at the Beanery lately and I overheard Lana talking with another member of the pom-pom squad." 

"Well, what can I tell you Chloe? You seem to know more than I do about myself. Other than school and chores, not much has changed." 

"If I hadn't overheard Lana the other day, I would have thought you were still crushing over her. I guess a new person has your attention now. Sexy, bald, and rich -- is that what's catching your eye these days, Clark?" she said with an impish grin. 

"Chloe!" 

She laughed for a few moments before taking his arm and walking him towards the coffee shop. 

Later that night, Clark sat in the loft looking out towards the castle. Hanging out with Chloe and later Pete had taken most of the afternoon and he missed his chance to see Lex. Both his friends expressed that he had been scarce lately, but it didn't seem that way to him. He hadn't thought he was spending so much time with Lex and Chloe's little dig at him earlier kept repeating in his head. 

- _I guess a new person has your attention now_. _Sexy_ , _bald_ , _and rich_ \-- _is that what_ ' _s_ _catching your eye these days_ , _Clark_?- 

Did he like Lex a little more than he should? He did spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about him. Especially those moments at the bridge, when he was breathing life back into Lex's lungs. At the time he was scared of what would happen to this stranger that had run into him. It seemed to halt the feelings of panic that he had about walking away completely unharmed by the accident. He knew all his life he was different, just not how much. These were some of the feelings he talked to Lex about, not his secret, but how he felt, more so now than ever, different from everyone around him. Lex listened to whatever he had to say, sometimes offering advice and sometimes not. He just hadn't realized until now why it had felt so right, so familiar. He had felt that way with Annissa. But how could he feel the same why about two different people? With a sigh, he left the barn and headed inside to his room. 

_His lips were soft_ , _full_ , _lush_. _Her lips were like sweetness_ , _butter_ , _rich_. _I wanted to taste his tongue_. _Was it the same as hers_? _Would it feel the same while wrapped with mine_? _Hot breath mingling_ , _the cold air making clouds in the darkness_. 

_Would the flavors of our mouths taste the same_ , _as mine did with hers_? _Does he like his neck covered with kisses_? _She said she felt it tingle across her body to her toes_. 

_Does his skin feel the same_? _Silken heat_ , _across firm muscle_. _Do they sound alike_? _Similar sighs_. _Careening cries_? _She called my name_. _Will he_? _She loved me_. _Does he even care_? 

Clark awoke breathing heavily, images of Annissa and Lex bombarded his dreams. What did it all mean? 

* * *

_The Green-eyed Alien_

'Gabe should be given more responsibility,' Lex thought to himself as he looked over the quarterly finances for the plant. He knew his father was keeping a close eye on the budget this year. Everything he did had to have a legitimate and profit making reason for spending in improvements or renovations. 

"Mr. Luthor." The voice speaking through the intercom pulled his attention away from his work. 

"Yes, Stacey?" 

"Mr. Luthor is on line two." 

Lex's somewhat contemplative features reformed into a painful grimace. "Thank you." 

Pushing a few buttons on his phone, he placed the headset to his ear. "Hello father." 

"Lex. I just wanted to remind you that the quarterly finances are due across my desk by Thursday of this week. I have to keep an eye on spending at the plant; for the amount of personnel I have working there I don't believe the profits while continue to be able to fund labor. There may have to be a few cutbacks this year." 

"Well I'm sure that once you see the projects we have you may want to wait on that decision." 

"You think you can pull this one out of the mire son? I may let you, but I reserve my judgment just in case," his father said. "You've been keeping to yourself, Alexander? I don't have to come down there to pick up after you? Your 'lady' friend hasn't come by for any visit has she? I would hate to be disappointed at having that particular conversation with you again." 

"No father, there's no need for you to make the trip." 

"Good. There's some business I need to conduct in the next week in Zurich. I expect you to be able to take care of things while I'm gone, Lex. This is an important deal and I can't leave in middle of this." 

Enrique had left Clark in the sitting room to wait for Lex. Apparently Lex had a meeting conference call and couldn't be disturbed. He had said he would wait for Lex to finish instead of returning home. Unfortunately there wasn't much to do while he waited. There were the various works of art placed about the room, the picture window looked out into the gardens but that was all. If he was interested in impressionists he could while always a few hours and he could get horticulture at home with his mom setting him to work in her azaleas. So he could only stand about the room, trying not to touch anything. Most of the furniture was antique or made to resemble centuries old designs and he was afraid to sit on it. Some surfaces held small-sculpted pieces of people or objects as well as glass abstract art or bowls on display. The room a museum pieces that he was sure he feared more than a trip to the Metropolis Art Institute or the Louvre. 

On one of the shelves there was something he recognized and he hadn't seen it since that one evening he and Lex had their first meaningful conversation. He walked over and picked up the small metal box that had belonged to the late Lillian Luthor. After he had retrieved the box from Lana, he had returned it to Lex. He felt he couldn't keep something that Lex had that was reminder of the woman who was lost to him. He ran his fingers over the indention the carving made into the metal surface, so practical yet elegant. He opened the box and saw that there was something inside. Lex had said there was nothing to place inside but old memories but apparently something had happened that he now wanted to cherish. Clark opened the lid wider, wondering at himself invading his friends' privacy, to see what was inside. It was thin like paper and when he pulled it out, he realized that it was a photograph. He was also very surprised when he turned it over. It was Annissa. What was Lex doing with a picture of Annissa? How did he know her? He never said anything in all the times Clark spoke about her. Then he remembers something Lex once said to him. 

' _Clark_ , _I have only loved two women in my life_. _One died and the other betrayed me_.' 

Was Annissa the woman who broke his heart? Was that why sometimes when Clark spoke of her Lex seemed a bit unfocused? He had always assumed that maybe he was boring him with his adolescent platitudes on lost love. Maybe Lex's expression was actually sadness, the loss of a woman he'd loved who had destroyed his belief in emotional relationships. But that didn't seem like the Annissa he knew so intimately, that he had held in his arms and told of the things that were most wanted, cherished and close to his heart. She had listen intently and never made him feel that his words were stupid or childish. He didn't know how he felt at the thought that the woman he still loved had had a relationship with the man who had now become his friend. And who for weeks now he'd had uncertain feelings about. Would he be able to ever to look at Lex as simply his friend ever again? 

* * *

_What are you doing with my girl?_

Lex sat on the bed looking at the room around him. 'Well,' he thought, 'let's start with the basics.' The room had an en-suite bathroom that had a large sunken tub. He relaxed there for a while in a hot bath, feeling the tension leave his body as he contemplated what was about to happen. It had been several months since his time as Annissa. He was tired of playing it safe to appease his father. Everyday he spent in Clark's presence compounded the need he had to be himself around him. Sure Clark liked Lex as a friend, but he wanted that closeness back that Clark shared only with her. After his bath Lex took his time applying make-up and then dressing in one of Annissa's favorite outfits. Then he donned the natural hair wig that was a striking strawberry blond. He looked at his reflection closely in the mirror and truly smiled for the first time in a long while. 

Clark left school directly after his last class of the day. He had decided to speak to Lex about finding Annissa's photograph. He had to know why Lex didn't mention he had known her at some point. He had thought about a lot over the last month or so. He felt pretty badly about how short he had been to Lex the few times he'd seen him in town. He finally realized that if Lex and Annissa had a relationship in the past he had to accept it and move on. Lex didn't seem angry or bitter whenever he mentioned her to Clark, so they must have decided not to pursue a more intimate acquaintance. He thought Lex didn't realize what a wonderful women Annissa was but glad he hadn't because he was quite sure he would never have had the chance to be with her otherwise. Knowing Lex, they would have been married and on the way to becoming the perfect corporate couple with the future heirs to Luthor Corp shortly following. 

He decided to bypass ringing the doorbell and went straight through to find Lex. After checking the office and the few other rooms he had ever seen Lex in, he thought maybe Lex was practicing in one of the exercise areas. He was about to go further down the hall, when he heard the sound of something falling coming from upstairs. He decided to take an extra moment and look around with his additional sight. There were the usual amount of staff about and one person alone in one of the bedrooms on the second floor. 

"Lex?" 

Clark could see the figure moving about so he ran up the stairs and towards the direction the sound came from. He stood in the hall before the bedroom door. 

"Lex?" He called out as he opened the door and froze in shock. "Annissa? What are you doing here?" 

"Clark? Lex didn't tell me you were coming over." 

"What are you doing here?" he said again, and then he walked towards Annissa and locked his arms around her in a strong embrace. 

"It's so good to see you, Clark. I missed you," she whispered into his neck as she wrapped her arms around him as well. 

They stood together quietly in the bedroom lost in the feel and smell of the person they loved more than anything. All the nights Clark had spent alone after Annissa was gone, left a large hole in him that no one could seem to fill. No one but Lex had come close, but even through those new feelings, the emptiness without Annissa was still painfully there. 

"I came here to see Lex, to ask him for help. I needed a place to stay. I left home and I can't go back," Annissa said quietly. 

"Why didn't you come to me?" Clark asked. 

"I wanted to see you, I did. I know your parents didn't know about us, but my father knew I was seeing someone while at school. If he decided to find out, he could. I didn't want to cause you any trouble, so I came here." 

"How do you know, Lex?" 

"I've known him all my life." 

She fell silent after that and he didn't question her anymore. He was just glad she was here and he could hold her again. His large hands were rubbing small circles across her back and made her feel warm and needed again. She had missed this so much. The feel of him wrapped around her, the heat of his skin sent tingles throughout the nerves of her body. How had she lived so long without him? She hadn't lived since that day she had to leave him behind. 

He pulled back and looked into her eyes, his hands holding her face between his palms. The touch of her soft lips like strawberries, syrupy sweet but light touched his. Their tongues made a tentative quest for the others mouth, slowly pausing to enjoy the flavor of the other. This time wasn't goodbye; this was hope for a future to come. Nothing was said as Annissa lead him closer to the bed in the middle of the room. When she removed his shirt and laid her hands upon the skin of his chest, it spoke volumes of her belief in a future as well. 

* * *

Lex awoke the next morning feeling wonderful. He was relaxed and exuberant. There was nothing he couldn't do and he was in control of his destiny. He stood up and walked to the bathroom to get a hot shower and start the beginning of his day. Who would have guessed this morning was going to so carefree? He didn't remember feeling this way in a long while, not since the summer. He had been in a small brooding depression for a while now since his exile in Smallville. The only shinning light of his existence was his now burgeoning friendship with Clark. Their friendship meant the most to him and he thought to Clark as well. The young man was seeing him as a confidant and guide and he also help Lex find that part of him that needed to be human and alive, instead of the controlling businessman his father was grooming him to become. Yesterday the feeling of depression was almost overwhelming, so he went to the one place that held calmness for him in this drafty mausoleum of a castle. 

His mother had used the lady's bedchamber and dressing room when he was a child. He was surprised his father hadn't had it remolded after she died. He seemed to want to erase any part of her existence in their lives, in Lex. But uncharacteristically he kept the rooms intact and with some of the personal possessions she'd had to make it more like home. Lex walked into the room taking a moment to remember life when she was there with him. The feeling of safety when he was being held in her arms, knowing that she would always be there when he was sad or to cheer for him when he had high marks in school. The way his father was when she was around, instead of the uncaring and critical man he was now. 

In this room was where he placed all that was when he was Annissa. Everything he felt in those few short months, when he could let his inner self run free of the influence of his father. He had taken out Annissa's favorite outfit. It was the one she was wearing the day she met Clark, one of the first decisions of her new freedom. Clark the remarkable young man, who romanced a somewhat new girl and made her feel special, cared for and loved. He wanted to feel that more than ever again. He had begun the preparations for becoming Annissa. 

He was alone in the house for the coming weekend. He had let the staff have a few days vacation. The plant had its general manager to keep an eye on things. So this weekend he was going to let his true self run free. He was going to stay either here at the castle or a few of the quiet spots he had frequented during the summer. These were only a few places that he could go for the short time he had. Annissa would have a few days freedom and maybe this desolate feeling that had come over him would disperse. That first night as Annissa was spent just enjoying a quiet moment as someone he hoped he could be all the time. He didn't remember removing the makeup or returning to bed for the night and he didn't want to either. He just wanted to feel this new edge of happiness, that small foray as Annissa had given him. 

* * *

Later that day, Clark returned to the castle to pickup Annissa. They spent the afternoon at the farm and Annissa reveled in this Clark she hadn't seen before. He explained to her about the crops that were planted for the season and harvesting. She stood at the fences watching the cows graze as he told her about how organic farming was better for the land and people; this Clark that cared and understood his parents dreams. They walked across the yard towards the barn. Clark led Annissa up the stairs to the loft. 

"I know its not much but..." 

"But it's a place you love and you wanted to share it with me." She smiled at him and gave a small giggle at the blush that rose to his cheeks. "It's as beautiful as I remember you telling me." 

They were standing in front of the lookout, it would be sunset soon and Clark wanted to see it with Annissa. The colors changed the sky to a fiery orange then to a brash red that muted into a plum dusk that led into night. He stood with Annissa folded into his arms as they watched the colors change and form across the sky's canvas. 

"The sky is different here." She spoke softly hoping to not break this moment. "It's more real, rich and full of life. I'm so glad I was able to be here, that you wanted me to see this." 

"I've waited to show you this for months, I'm just so happy that we had this chance." 

"Don't worry Clark, we'll definitely have more chances like these to come." 

Both quieted and remained still as the stars emerged from the cover of night. 

* * *

_Confusion_

Lionel Luthor did not look angry, he was furious. In the middle of the bi-annual board meeting he appeared calm and in control. The reason for his fury was his son Lex. Lex was nowhere in sight, in fact he was not in Metropolis at all. Which meant he was up to his old tricks, defying Lionel at every turn. Lex wasn't needed at the meeting Lionel had the figures for plant no. 3 that he had requested on time and ready to be presented before the board. No, Lex was needed to show a solid united front and the power behind LuthorCorp. Yet again Lex had failed to give in to his father's wishes. What was keeping Lex in Smallville? Lionel would soon find out. 

* * *

Lex sat at the vanity starring at his reflection in the mirror. Behind the unadorned face was a woman waiting patiently to come out. He closed his eyes. He really should give Annissa up. First it was dangerous, not only for him in regards to Lionel but also due to this new relationship with Clark. If it was discovered that he was Annissa for all that time, not only would it taint the memories he held so dear, but it would also ruin the friendship he now shared with the man he loved so much. Clark would see it as betrayal and that was information his father could destroy him with. Never seeing Clark again was not an option. So he sat staring at what he had to stay like in order to keep what part of Clark he could have now - friendship. 

Opening his eyes, Lex reached reflexively for the pots and jars on the vanity. First the cream to protect the skin, rub it into the skin thoroughly, then a light base, the foundation of a beautiful face is a flawless canvas for the artist to paint. Lex applied the light powder to his skin making it appear rounder giving his face softness enhancing his slender lips and the color of his eyes. 

For Clark, it was no effort; everything he felt inside could now be brought out. His new softer feature could express a kindness and compassion holding at bay the hard edge of Lex Luthor, Lionel's protege, heir, but never son. 

As the eyes liner is applied to the thin layer of skin beneath the blue eyes making them appear more gentle and open. // _A small touch of color to the lids, no need to exaggerate_.// A bit of rouge on the cheeks and just a touch to her appearance more warm, just accentuate the fine boned features of her face. Applying the red lipstick, pressing the lips together, spreading the color across the surface. // _Don't forget to blot_.// A small smile at seeing the results of the few touches of makeup to enhance a very pretty face. Clark always told her how beautiful she was and she was pleased that her efforts were appreciated. A glance at the clock told her it was time to dress, Clark would be here soon. Annissa was standing in her under garments just smoothing the sheer fabric of her thigh high stockings when the door was opened. 

"I should have known." Lionel sneered at the sight before him. 

"Don't you knock?" 'Shit. What the fuck was Lionel doing here? I've got to get him the hell out of here before Clark shows up.' 

"Why should I? It's my house." 

"I don't know why I should expect common courtesy from you now." 

She picked up the dress that was laid out on the bed. She stepped into it and zipped up the back. She walked up to the full-length mirror to take a look. 

"Admiring how _pretty_ you look? What could you possibly derive form this perversity Lex?" 

"You never did understand me, did you father?" she replied with steel in her voice. 

"What I understand is you would rather play these 'little' games while there's work to be done. You were supposed to be in Metropolis this morning instead I have to come all the way out here and find this." He points to Annissa to illustrate this point. 

"Why do you even bother? There was no need to be present and you know it." She turned back to her reflection dismissing Lionel from her mind. 'I can speak for Lex as well as myself.' 

"This isn't over Lex. I will put a stop to this foolishness. Remember son, I will not continue to tolerate this weakness of yours." Lionel turned to the door leaving Annissa staring at herself in the mirror. 

Lionel busied himself thinking of who could be pulled away for this particular job, not noticing the servant coming into the entryway to open the door. There standing on the other side was a dark haired young man. 

"Mr. Kent. Come in." 

Lionel just took a moment to glance at the young man before deciding to ignore him. "Bring my car around." He demanded. 

"Mr. Kent..." 

"Don't worry, I'll just go on up." Clark started walking toward the stairway. 

'He seems very familiar with the house.' Lionel mused to himself. 'Kent. From where do I know that name?' Lionel made note of the name as he watched the boy run up the stairs. 'I wonder how important this young man is to Lex?' With a speculative look in his eye, Lionel walked out the door to his waiting car. 

* * *

His breath came in heavy pants, his blood burned in his veins. His cock was hard and heavy as his hand moved faster and faster, helped along by the slick lubricant. Annissa. His body ached to touch hers, feel the heat of her. His mind filled with the earthy musk of her scent. He remembered her mouth on his cock and felt himself harden even more. Fuck. Clark lost himself to his fantasy, his and Annissa's bodies met and rocked together. His flat edges met her curves their bodies fit as one. A pair of smooth palms caressed his back and while Annissa pumped his cock with both her hands. A voice whispered in his ear. 'Would you like me to go lower Clark?' It's deep seductive sound caused a shiver down his spine. 

He could only moan as the hands moved on his reaching his ass and began to caress the taunt firm mounds of flesh. They teased the soft skin of his entrance, smoothing the warm slick of lube into him. He was confronted on both sides with pleasure. Annissa's hot mouth swallowed him whole as the slick fingers of his other partner moved within him finding that spot inside they made his body sing. He began to keen as his body stilled and he came. He was lost in the flood of pleasure that ravaged him. He could lie there and ride out the waves that ripped through him. Eventually he was able to open his eyes and stare out into the dark of his room. 

While Clark lay in bed waiting for his body to calm, he began thinking over the last month in his mind. Lex had been intruding on his thoughts more often than before. Even when he was focused on Annissa, like now Lex managed to slide in and become part of the fantasy. His desire for his friend was growing but so were his feelings of protection for Lex. Something was going on but he wasn't sure what. Lex had seemed a bit odd to him on several occasions. He had something bothering him, but he hadn't felt the need to share it with Clark. He knew it was best if he didn't push, but he hoped his friend confided in him soon. 

* * *

_Passion_

His mother commented on his recent happy mood. He felt slightly guilty about not being able to tell her or his father about Annissa. He saw her or his father giving him looks lately and he knew they wanted to ask him what was going on but they must have decided he would come to them and so had refrained from asking. He was glad of that mostly because he had no idea what to tell them. Yes, he was very happy that he had Annissa in his life again, but that was only part of it. He was also questioning his feeling for Lex. He knew he wanted more from Lex than just friendship and he had been considering approaching him when Annissa came back into his life. Now he wasn't so sure how his friend felt about him. Until Lex had offered Annissa a place to stay, he thought his friend wanted more with him as well. Now it looked like Lex had bowed gracefully from the competition. 

* * *

They would be alone for a while; his parents had gone to Metropolis to visit one of his mother's cousins. They had gained a lot of trust of Clark over the years, as he got older, so they felt no misapprehension to leave him alone for a weekend. This gave him plenty of time to spend with Annissa alone. So far in their intimate relationship Annissa has taken the leading role, not that he was complaining. In the beginning he wasn't sure what he should do and it was nice to be lead, but now he wanted to take Annissa to the same heights she had shown him. Annissa was very modest about her body, she may wear the styles of clothing that was popular with her own flare, but she was very consentience of how she looked in them. He assumed that this was why she never fully undressed when they were alone. 

She was body shy and in a woman who was so spirited and lively, Clark felt it showed also how vulnerable she was as well. So he always told her how attractive she was or made sure to comment on how she looked in a particular outfit. Now he wanted to see all he could of her, run his hands across her flesh, the shape of her breasts, the curve of her hips and the mound between her legs that made her female. He wanted her feel his touch on her body, to place her fingers within her and find her moist with arousal and ready for his insertion of her body. His cock throbbed with the though of entering her moist depths and thrusting away until they both found completion. He knew he was more than ready, but was she? 

Clark looked at Annissa, his eyes dark with want and he felt her body pulse with desire. He knew he had given her lead in a lot of their relationship so far and that had definitely continued even in sex. Clark leaned in and kissed her, he began pulling at her clothing, but she placed her hands on his. He respected her boundaries although she could feel the tension thrumming through him, straining his control. Taking her hand he walked them forward until they reached the four-post bed in her room, then he lay back on the plush mattress. He watched as she unbuttoned his shirt, running her hands across his chest, moaning as she tweaked the nipples laving them with her tongue. He felt he wouldn't be able to hold out any longer, too much anticipation and her fine manipulation of his body. He gasped as she quickly undid the fastening of his pants and engulfed the head of his penis in her mouth. The feel of her mouth on his thick cock, he wondered at the taste. Was he slightly sweet, not the bitter that one would expect? As she worked him down into her throat while fondling his scrotum, the dual sensations finally allowed him to expel his seed into her mouth and she swallowed. Clark breathed heavily, his throat somewhat dry for the cries of passion Annissa pulled from him. He was disappointed and when she looked at him, he could see that she understood why. 

"Don't worry Clark, we're not done yet." The look she gave him held no doubt to that. "Just rest for a bit, I'll be right back." 

Clark removed his pants completely and lay back on the thick mattress, he wondered what she was doing. He'd had these conversations with Pete. He liked to give advice to Clark about what to expect, if he ever got the nerve to go further with a woman. He'd only hinted that he was interested in someone and suddenly Pete became a vast fountain of information on woman. So of what was told to him, he thought highly questionable, but that a girl sometimes left the room for a bit seemed to be true. He asked Pete what he though they did and Pete looked at him as if to say 'Clark you have no idea, do you?' Then Pete explained to him that there were different things to use for contraception other than condoms and that it didn't hurt to use both if you could. 'Annissa must be more experienced than I thought.' And Clark delighted in knowing that soon he would know the most intimate part of the woman he loved. 

Annissa finished preparing her body and donned the soft opaque nightgown. She opened the door from the bathroom and looked at Clark lying there awaiting her. He must have felt her watching him because he turned to look at her. Thank goodness for youth, because apparently all Clark needed was to catch his breath, he seemed ready to go again and Annissa was definitely prepared. She slowly walked over to the bed, Clark watching her every step. She moved to the edge and then crawled across and rested between his parted legs. She then started to initiate a little playtime. Clark didn't quite know what to expect but when Annissa began to touch him all his thoughts melted away. He had been semi-hard before but now he stood straight up from the attention she paid not only to his cock but also to the other parts of his nether regions. He had remembered their first time, she had placed a finger inside him, he had been hesitant to do it on his own when he masturbated on occasion, but he never forgot how wonderful it had felt. She had used this slippery substance on him, he assumed it was lube and proceeded to use her fingers inside him with one hand and to pump his cock with the other. It felt good, too good. 

"Annissa. No. Want you." 

"Don't worry Clark, you'll definitely get me." 

She continued to play with him, and then she slowly removed her fingers and moved his legs closer together. Annissa moved her body over his, straddling his waist, her nightgown pooled on his belly and legs, her bare bottom rubbing against his coarse pubic curls. He felt a rub of smooth cloth against his lower abdomen above his groin under the nightgown and wondered what it was, but then she reached behind her, under her nightgown, held his cock steady, and proceeded to lower her body onto his. It was tight, gripping him with her muscles, he wanted to move so badly, but she held back with a shake of her head. He bit his lips and held his hips still and she slowly made her way down, then she moved up again. She moved in a slow rhythm then she looked at him, she took his hands and placed them on her waist. 

"Move with me Clark." 

He began to thrust into her finding the pattern, moving, pacing her. He felt incredible pistoning up into her over and over. Her back curved, pushing her breasts forward. She placed his hands on her waist and he held her firmly so she wouldn't unbalance. He could her panting, then he changed his angle slightly and suddenly she was crying out. 

"There. That's it. There. Clark. Oh, God." 

Then he felt it a tightening, then it began to undulate around his cock and he felt it pulling him. That tingle down his spine moved up through him and he felt himself gush inside her, his seed layering her body, marking her his. She fell forward catching herself on her arms, his hands clenching so tight, she thought it would leave bruises. She met his lips with hers while they rode out the last of his orgasm. Then she moved back and up more on her knees and slowly separated her body from his. She lowered herself to the bed and relaxed into the warmth from his body. 

"Annissa?" 

"Yes, Clark?" 

"I love you." He looked at her lying beside him and he touched her cheek. She closed her eyes rubbing her face into his palm. 

"I love you too." 

She opened her eyes again, and then kissed him before pulling away and moving from the bed. He watched her as she walked into the bathroom and closed the door. He lay back and waited for her to return to him. He couldn't wait to do it all over again. 

* * *

Clark lay with Annissa in his arms. She had come to see him several times here at the loft and when he could he borrowed the truck and took Annissa on drives down some of the back roads. No matter the course of the evening they always seemed to return to the loft. They had only spent that one time together at the castle, it was the only time that they had intercourse and Annissa didn't seem inclined to repeat the encounter. It was fine with him to let her set the pace, to make her comfortable in the relationship. It seemed in those more intimate moments, although she expresses her needs, he felt Annissa held part of herself away from him. He wasn't sure if he was reading more into it than just shyness on her part, but he was determined to be with her regardless. It was getting close to the time to take her back to the castle. They managed to see each other as often as they could and the loft has become their place. He loved Annissa very much and he was willing to understand whatever the problem was that she was hiding, in hopes that one day he would be able to share all his secrets as well. 

* * *

_To the Devil His Due_

Annissa kissed Clark goodnight in the entry then watched as he drove the truck in the direction of Kent farms. They'd had a lovely evening to themselves, just talking about what should happen now that they have decided to take that final step to becoming lovers. Clark would be graduating soon and going to Metropolis. Now that Annissa was making her own choices, she wanted to return to the place that made her happy and would be following Clark. After they settled in, then they would tell his parents about their relationship. Freshmen not living locally were required to live the first semester in the dorms. Clark was a bit disappointed about that, but Annissa assured him that it wouldn't be so bad. He'd make a few friends, find out about life on campus and there was nothing saying he couldn't spend a few nights a week or the weekends with her as well. She walked inside, closing the door behind her. She was on her way to her bedroom, when a harsh voice mocking called out. 

"Lex." 

* * *

Clark had only gotten a few miles down the road when the truck ground to a halt. He put the gear back in first and turned the key only to hear nothing. He groaned. 'Well, two choices, run home or go back to the castle and call dad from there.' He knew he could make it home, it wasn't that for at a run, but he wanted to give in to the desire to see Annissa again. He couldn't keep his mind off what happened that night. He had hated to say goodbye, he wanted to follow her back inside and lay down next to her bed. He wanted to wake up at her side and taste her again, let her ride his body until he was exhausted then nap for a few hours so they could wake up and do it again. He began to wonder if this feeling was normal, he couldn't seem to have enough of her. Clark turned around and headed back to the castle, his heart making his decision for him. 

* * *

Annissa looked in the direction the voice was coming from. The study was bathed in light and in the doorway was Lionel Luthor, but before she could speak Lionel had his say. 

"Well son, I can't say I expected you to obey me, but when have you?" Lionel walked to Annissa grabbing her by the arm and yanking her inside the study. Once they were past the door, Lionel pushed her away and she landed in a heap before the desk. 

"Just look at you. You didn't think I wouldn't know about this? Lex, when I tell you to do as I say, I mean it and yet still you continue to defy me. You think I didn't know about the Kent boy? I knew, but I thought that my silence about it would make you tow the line. To protect your little fuck toy if nothing else. I'm quite sure he has no idea you're really a man. How do you think he will feel when he founds out? Think he'll want you then? Maybe I should send his parents a few photographs of you sucking their son off in their pickup truck." 

Lionel paced back and forth before his 'son' elaborating his faults and listing threats against him and Clark with ever increasing frequency. 

* * *

Thoughts of seeing Annissa played through Clark's head as his walking turned into a fast jog. He had to be careful he knew that but every once and a while he cheated just a bit. It was only for a short distance and it was nighttime, there really wasn't anyone out to catch him anyway. When he got close enough to see the castle Clark to a peek to see who was about, the bottom floor was empty, so it looked like he could sneak in without any trouble. He looked for Annissa in her bedroom, but she wasn't there. He did a quick scan of the rest of the floor when he saw two figures. They were facing each other, he was about to look closer when one figure grabbed the other, and he turned up his hearing to understand what was going on. 

- _To protect your little fuck toy if nothing else. I'm quite sure he has no idea you're really a man. How do you think he will feel when he founds out_?- 

Clark stood still stunned at the words. Lionel voice continued but Clark no longer heard the words. Everything that he wanted to understand suddenly made sense in his mind. The guilty almost plaintive looks he would get from Lex when it seems they were getting to close. Annissa suddenly showed up in Smallville to stay at the castle. Her modesty whenever they were intimate. He'd felt she was hiding something and now he knew exactly what. His train of thought was broken when Lionel pushed Lex to the floor. Clark decided to throw caution to the wind and made his way inside. 

* * *

Annissa watched Lionel pace the fury in his voice, the disgust in his tone, cut deeply with every word. This is voice that made her ashamed, decried her art, and forced her to hide until there was almost nothing left. This man who had never offered comfort, only harshness; never caring, only lessons. Her father taking away her choices, her freedom, her life that she wanted to live. He wanted to take away the last part she had left, Clark. She had to fight to stay. Now that Clark was hers once more, no one was taking him away and she would allow no one to stop her, not even her father. 

"Just look at you." Lionel growled walking over to the sprawl form before the desk. He reached out his hand to snatch the wig from Annissa's head. 

"Remember son, I will not continue to tolerate this weakness of yours." 

The familiar phrase sparked something inside and Lex stood up from the floor to face his father. 

"You won't tolerate it. Who are you to tell me what I can do. I am twenty-five years old dad, time to cut the strings. I am not your little pet project to mold into the perfect heir. I was supposed to be your son. You never cared about me, only about what you wanted." 

Lex walked steadily closer to his father with each word. He took hold of Lionel by the label of his suit coat. "You can no longer tell me what to do." 

"Trying to be a man now _son_." Lionel began to push back against Lex. The only sounds in the rooms were now grunts as each man fought to be on top. All these years had built to lead to this moment. This was the most important fight against his father Lex would ever have. Lionel's back met a wall stilling his movements. 

"You'll never win, you don't have the guts little girl." He taunted Lex with the wig still held in his possession. 

Lex looked his father in the eyes and Lionel grinned in triumph tossing the wig at him. He knew Lex; he knew how to twist and manipulated him very well. After all he had been doing so since he was born. And he's never let Lex forget that he held the reins. Lex would eventually learn that Lionel was always right. But Lex didn't feel humiliated as his father thought. He had been in denial of events he knew. He had tried to force them to the back of his mind, but now he knew the truth. He was stronger; his father was the one who was wrong. All along inside his strength was there waiting for him, he just had to reach inside and take hold of it. Lex looked at the wig his father had thrown at him and put it on. Lex stood as father pushed his arms aside and resumed his hold. He held Lex tight and reversed their positions. 

"You are a failure to me Lex. I own you and you will never be free of me." He grabbed him by the throat. "Since you can't seem to be my son, I'll use your pretty little ass. There are a lot of people with money out there who would like you like this. Old businessmen, with eccentric tastes that will make deals over having your ass. It might be to my advantage to keep you after all." 

"Father," he gasped. 

Lionel laughed in his face. "You think you can stand against me. Lex you never could beat me." 

Lex continued to push forward against Lionel; he didn't have the time to speak again when Lex grabbed him. 

"I can." Annissa voice spoke but the look in her eyes was one he had seen before only in his son. 

* * *

Clark had just made it up the stairs to the study in time to see Annissa grab Lionel by his jacket coat. 

"Annissa, don't!" He couldn't use his speed now, not in front of them both, so he was to late to stop her as she shoved her body against Lionel's, the momentum pushing them towards one of the stained glassed windows. He could only watch as Lionel's frame smashed through the glass panels. Lionel made a grab at Annissa but she pulled he hands back and stood as her father fell to the ground below. 

Clark walked slowly towards Annissa. She was standing still just looking at her hands. He walked around in front of her blocking the view of the broken window, taking her hands in his. 

"Annissa." He spoke softly rubbing their hands together. She continued to look through him. 

"Annissa." 

"We killed him." 

'We?' thought Clark. 

"I killed him." Annissa spoke quietly and looked into Clark's eyes. 

Clark could see the sadness in the eyes of the person before him as well as a certain clarity. He took that person in his arms and held on tight whispering words of encouragement. No matter what happened he would remain at his friends side. He stood back holding her face in his hands. 

"Don't worry, Lex. It's going to be all right." 

* * *

The police were called in bringing an ambulance with them. Lionel wasn't dead but his injuries were critical and he was rushed to Smallville General. Clark stayed with Lex as he handled the fallout for the accident. A disgruntled employee of LuthorCorp was suspected to have attacked his father. He fielded calls from the company and the media. He seemed to be holding it together, but Clark was staying close to give him support. He knew that Lex was worried, not just about what happened with his father, but what was going to happen with them. He had tried to assure Lex earlier that he would stay with him while he answered questions before heading to the hospital with him to see his father. He knew he should be shocked at what happened between Lex and his father, but he seemed unable. He couldn't hold this against Lex, Lionel had gone too far and Clark considered it self-defense. He was concerned about how this would affect Lex in the long run but he planned to be by Lex's side long into the future. 

It was a week before Lionel was awake and conscience enough to understand the doctors that surrounded him. They spoke to Lex about his father. He had fractured his spine in two places due to the fall from the window, he would be paralyzed from the waist down and he would also be unable to speak. He would need constant care while recovering in the hospital. In the future he could become somewhat mobile with help but he would need a caretaker or housed in a permanent care facility. 

"May I speak with him?" Lex asked. He was led to his father's room. Dim light filled the room from the shaded windows. Lionel was attached to various machines and both legs were suspended in traction to keep them immobile. Lex looked his father over for a moment before he spoke. 

"Dad." 

He waited while the eyes slowly opened, they widened when they focused on Lex's face. 

"Hello father. The doctor was just informing me about your condition. I wanted you to know that I'm taking care of everything and you don't have to worry about the company during your recovery. The police are working hard to find the man who did this to you; they believe it was an ex-employee. They are keeping watch outside the room for your protection." 

Lionel face held fear, for the first time ever he was truly afraid of his son. 

"You know, now that I have your attention I want to say a few things. You tried your best to destroy me dad, but I won. You weren't worthy to have a son like me. I can live with that knowledge now. You've lost your power over me. But just remember father, you ever give me any trouble again...," his voice slipped into Annissa's, "----Then I finish the job." 

Lex gave his father one last glance then stood and left the room. 

* * *

When Lex reached the castle Clark was waiting for him. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say to the man about what had occurred with his father. He was afraid to ask what Clark really wanted from him. Would Clark forgive him for lying about Annissa? 

"It's okay. You can ask me," Clark said softly to the man before him. 

Lex wanted to say the words but was unable to face the eventual rejection from his best friend. 

"Lex, I won't say I wasn't surprised. I was stunned actually. Why did you do it? Was it Lionel?" 

"There were things I wanted." Lex said softly, "I had been running for months, from myself, my father. The summer was an opportunity, a chance I couldn't pass up. I was free, at least for a while. I could be who I was meant to be inside." 

"So it wasn't just a game? I wasn't?" 

"I didn't even know to look for you. It was so unexpected. I knew I only had a little while before my father would figure out where I was, so being Annissa and experiencing all I could, would have to sustain me for a long time. But I didn't intentionally seek anyone out, and when I met you I decided to take the chance, we wouldn't see each other again and it would be something I could look back on fondly. When we met again, it hurt because I knew we couldn't go on like we were before. I was only planning to be your friend Clark, that's all." 

He stood before Clark his eyes begging for understanding. Clark looked down at his feet as he spoke. 

"I knew something was wrong, but I just didn't know how to help you, either of you. Now that I know Lex, I can't give either of you up." 

He heard Lex gasp in surprise but refused to look up at him. 

"These past few months Lex have been frightening, painful and wonderful, all at the same time. I was so torn between the two of you, I loved Annissa so much but at the same time I desired my best friend. Most times I felt so guilty for my thoughts and in the end it was just easier to go on with her and pretend with you." 

He looked up at Lex seeing the sad but hopeful expression. "Now I can have everything. Can I have everything with you?" 

He leaned in to kiss his best friend and it was tentative light brush of lips. Then when Lex didn't stop him he applied more pressure, running his tongue against Lex's lower lip. He placed his arms around the man he had wanted for so long, showing him that his passion was not limited to his gender. He needed Lex to know that he felt passion for the man just as he did for the woman. He paused to let Lex catch his breath as he repeated his question. 

"Can I have everything, Lex?" 

"Everything? Would you still want me, even if I'm not Annissa anymore? What about all you wanted to have with her?" He remembered the long talks where Clark told Annissa what he wanted for their future together. How he wanted to introduce her to his parents that he knew they were destined for happiness. 

"I'd miss her Lex, I won't lie to you. But I love you, either way you need to be, that's why I felt so guilty before, I wanted both of you. The plans we made, they don't have to change. I would proudly live with you and I want my family to know. It will be rough but it will be worth it no matter the problems we may face." 

"I must admit I like being Annissa. Maybe sometimes you could take Annissa out." 

"Whenever she wishes." 

"I do love you Clark." 

Then Clark leaned closer to kiss Lex the wonderful man and beautiful woman he loved. 

The End 


End file.
